"Vs" stories are all the rage. We all want to know who would win in a whatever.. it's time honored- Alien Vs Predator, Kong Vs. Godzilla, Freddy Vs. Jason, Kramer Vs. Kramer- it's all we think about.
The other night I found myself reading a copy of Justice League Vs. Godzilla Vs. Kong. Yes, this is a real comic book published by DC Comics and Legendary Comics featuring your favorite DC superheroes taking on the likes of Godzilla and King Kong, and Superman and it's not going well for our heroes. But that got me to thinking, who else out there in the world of infinite possibilities could challenge a collection of some of the greatest superheroes ever created?
There is of course only one answer, the 1996 NBA Champion Chicago Bulls, led by one Michael Jordan.
How? Why? Who knows. Who cares it's comics. There is of course some precedence for this sort of crossover. The 1996 movie Space Jam had Michael Jordan team up with the Loony Tunes to play basketball in an intergalactic tournament. And Superman fought Muhammad Ali in the 1978 comic Superman Vs Muhammad Ali.
Let's look at the match ups!
Aquaman V Luc Longley: Sure Aquaman is the king of the seas, but basketball is played on land. Luc Longley is from Australia, which is surrounded by waters (but what isn't). I think these two will have a physical match up, but Aquaman will eventually find himself beat down and probably dehydrated by Longley and the other big bodies the Bulls had in rotation back then. Ultimately the King of the Seas becomes a non factor.
ADVANTAGE: Luc Longley
Green Lantern V Toni Kukoc: It depends on which Green Lantern you get. If you get Kyle Rayner or Guy Garnder, Kukoc walks away with it no questions asked. Hal Jordan, I think its a bit closer but I think Toni would eventually frustrate Hal. John Stewart I think is disciplined and savvy enough to compete with Toni’s eurostep and outside shot.
ADVANTAGE: Toni Kukoc
Flash V Steve Kerr: Yes Flash could run circles around everyone on the court in the blink of an eye, but also he’d probably get called for traveling so… you do the math. I think Flash wins this match up, but it’s not a cake walk. And I think the Bulls will probably switch up Pippen with Kerr a few times on defense, and that will definitely throw Flash for a loop when it happens. Still, Flash will just be too much to handle.
ADVANTAGE: Flash
Wonder Woman V Scottie Pippin: She’s a literal goddess and he was a 4 time NBA all defensive player and he had the most steals in the NBA that year. I think Wonder Woman wins this match up but it’s closer than you think.
ADVANTAGE: Wonder Woman
Batman V Dennis Rodman: This is a psychological battle as much as a physical one. Batman would love the physical challenge, but Dennis Rodman was basically the Joker back in those days. I think Batman would get into Rodman’s head but Rodman knows all eyes are on him, I think both Rodman and Batman get ejected in the 4th.
ADVANTAGE: Draw.
Superman V Michael Jordan: Draw. Superman would have a hard time controlling his super-strength and he’d have a hard time finding that 20 foot jumper. Yes, Superman can fly, but he wouldn’t cheat. Michael Jordan is Michael Jordan, and he has no qualms with flying if it means winning.
ADVANTAGE: Jordan.
Superpowers mean nothing when you’re out of your element. Obviously the story would end with up with the Justice League joining forces with the Chicago Bulls to stop Lex Luthor and his best pal Jerry Krause from taking over the multiverse or something- but part way through the story you will really worry if the Justice League will get out of this one!
Why play favorites? This concept could work for the DC Comics competition.
How about the 96 Chicago Bulls Vs. The X-Men?
Who wouldn't want to see Professor X match wits with Phil Jackson? Dennis Rodman Vs. Wolverine?
I know even with my three vision boards and with putting this idea out into the etherial consciousness of the universe via Blogger that this idea will likely never happen. But if you guys could see the vision I have in my head for this silly idea. There's this meme out there that states, "Always be yourself, unless you can be Batman, then always be Batman" but I guarantee you, in 1996 even Batman wanted to be like Mike.
No comments:
Post a Comment